Intensity One and Intensity Two
Notes and highlights for
Every Congregation Needs a Little Conflict (TCP Leadership Series)
Beginning
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Image of Intensity One Intensity one conflict is like a single stream flowing from the mountains toward a valley.
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Intensity one conflict is a single, identifiable, task-oriented issue with many solutions. It is not person-oriented. Nothing is wrong with or disagreeable about people. Something is not as good or right as it could be about how the issue is addressed.
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The issue may involve confused or otherwise unclear communication.
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People who cannot manage their own emotions and behavior at intensity one are signaling something deeper may be going on with them.
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Congregational Illustrations of Intensity One Staff and Worship Conflict in Good Shepherd Church An example of intensity one conflict is when the pastor and music director are working together to have a smooth-flowing and meaningful worship service. They must work regularly on fitting the critical elements of worship into a worshipful flow.
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Leadership vs. Management in Trinity Church Intensity one conflict occurs when the heat and air conditioning at Trinity church is not working right in part of the building. This is a continual problem, but it does have several possible solutions. The people impacted by the problem know the people responsible for properties' issues are dealing with the issue and soon it will be resolved.
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Women's Bible Study Group in Grace Church
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Emily wants to teach the thematic Bible study, and Kim wants to study a Bible book series.
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Addressing Intensity One Conflict "Getting to Yes!" is the theme of intensity one conflict. Everyone should be able to enthusiastically affirm the process, the outcome, and the impact of dealing in a healthy manner with intensity one conflict.
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The key point to remember is that intensity one conflict issues are win-win situations. Everyone can win, and everyone needs to take actions that empower themselves and everyone else to win. Demanding to win at intensity one escalates it to an intensity two or three. Accepting a loss at intensity one escalates it to an intensity two or three.
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Brainstorming possible solutions is a very helpful exercise
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Many good and loving solutions to issues exist at this intensity. Involve only the people who need to be involved in addressing this issue. When the solution is activated, celebrate the solution; and praise everyone who was involved in providing the solution.
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What Can Go Right at Intensity One? 1. Issues can be clearly defined. 2. Solutions can be quickly achieved. 3. Everyone can learn how to deal with intensity one conflicts. 4. Emotional currency can be developed that will empower the congregation to deal with tougher issues. 5. Laypersons can step forward as people who are learning how to deal with conflict rather than counting on the pastor and staff to deal with every conflict. 6. People who are emotionally out of step can be identified, and the life issues they are facing can be
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What Can Go Wrong at Intensity One? 1. Participants can fail to engage deeply and not clearly define the issue or issues. 2. People involved can allow the issue or issues to drag out and thus initiate a process of escalation as people become angry with people rather than issues. 3. Engagement happens haphazardly, and people really do not learn from the experience. 4. Emotional currency is developed in only a few people because some do not see the connection between how low intensity conflicts are handled and how higher intensity conflicts are handled. 5. To resolve the issue the pastor or a staff person becomes involved when their involvement is really unnecessary, and thus moves the situation from one of consensus building to one of being persuaded by an authority figure as to the outcome. 6. Individuals who act badly in the conflict are not clearly identified, and their life issues are not addressed. 7. The issue or issues may appear to be resolved until one day they come up again in an unexpected manner.
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Every Congregation Needs Intensity One Conflict Situations Intensity one conflict situations are empowering to congregations. They represent great opportunities for learning. At intensity one, skills can be developed in making healthy decisions. Decision-making principles can be stated and practiced at a time when position and personality are not issues. Decision makers learn there are many right answers at intensity one.
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Overview of Intensity Two Conflict Every congregation needs intensity two conflict situations. Intensity two conflict is a disagreement between people, rather than a challenge concerning an issue. Personalities are now involved.
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there are at least three active issues: (1) a task-oriented issue concerning an attitude, an emotion, communication, or substantive information on a particular issue; (2) a relationship issue that means some days the people involved really do not get along though supposedly they are friends; (3) and a hidden issue-generally an emotional issue of something one person has against another person-hidden because the person is not talking about it, and the other person may not even know that it exists, much less what it is.
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Self-protection is an objective of people involved in intensity two conflicts. Everyone involved wants to resolve the issue or fix the problem. In doing so, they want to come away looking good and having everyone like them.
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Addressing Intensity Two Conflict
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In intensity two conflicts, you should keep issues separated from one another. Do not let them merge into a larger, combined issue that will be more difficult to handle.
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Ground Rules At intensity two conflict, intentional dialogue about ground rules for fair conflict engagement is necessary.
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What Can Go Wrong at Intensity Two? 1. Participants can fail to engage with their full heart, soul, mind, and strength. They can hold something back.
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2. Without full, clear, and genuine communication, reasonable and true solutions may not occur.
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3. Since participants may fail to fully engage, then the hoped-for for learnings from the experience may not occur, and the potential benefit for later intensity two conflicts or ones of greater intensity may not exist.
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4. The opportunity may be lost for deeper, more meaningful relationships that can result from people being involved in mild conflict situations with one another.
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5. The dialogue may not achieve resolution, and participants walk away realizing they are going to face these same people in a similar situation again.
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6. Some participants engage in bad behavior during the dialogue around issues and relationships, creating an ongoing divide in the relationships.
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7. The empowerment that could have been possible if resolution had been achieved is lost for now, and perhaps forever.
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